Woke up this morning and decided to take a leap of faith. So I wrote him a straightforward message and asked him out. The new him, latest bee in the hive, haha. Never thought I would end up resorting to this. Not gonna lie, it was quite an ego boost. From all of them, I chose him. Someone with whom I only shared a few conversations. Someone whose voice I heard just once. Yet, I am somehow willing to get myself lost in his greenish eyes.
I have no clue where this new energy is coming from. Maybe it is the summer vibe that is in the air. Maybe it is the warm weather. It was always harder for me to stay sad when it is sunny outside. Don't get me wrong, nothing has actually changed. I am still the same raft in the middle of the ocean. I just found this small current which drives me in his direction for now. I am curious how things will go. First of all, gotta admit that it takes some courage going ahead with this wild plan. Looks like I might be the strong one in the end. I mean, I have to be, right? You stopped doing that for me so it is my role now.
I have re-read this part and I realise that it kinda sucks that I have addressed it to you, unconsciously. You are still the one who I want to talk to. Still the one who I want to share my stories to. Strangely, I don't even want to do it to hurt you. Not because I have an evil plan to make you want me back.
No... this time I would tell you because it is something that reminded me of a genuine smile. And this is the kind of news that I would run to you with usually. Real happiness, that feeling of being a silly kid, is something that only you had the privilege of knowing. The others only get to see the woman. The new him will get to only see the woman too. For a long while, maybe forever, who knows?
What I do know now is that I am putting on mascara, curling my hair and I get ready to face the world. I am ready to give my midnight thoughts to someone else, even though my dreams will probably be yours for a long time.
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